Exactly How Honest Should You Be In A Relationship?
Is honesty *always* the best policy?
It’s always the inevitable question that comes up in the first couple of dates with someone new; when was your last long-term relationship and how long did it last?
The thing is, I’ve never had a long-term relationship. And divulging this little personal truth – I feel – gives men this preconceived idea I’m a flake, consequently sabotaging the relationship before it’s even had time to start.
So I’m presented with two choices: I can tell the truth, or I can lie.
… And let’s just say I always choose to ‘fabricate’ the truth.
I quickly worked out that although these men were asking questions and expecting me to be honest, they really didn’t want to know the answer. Kind of like when we ask our new beau how many girls he’s slept with… it’s never going to end well.
So why were they asking me? Were they expecting me to expose all my flaws and assess if I was worth the investment of their time?
I used to assume that honesty was the best policy, so I’d naively spill the contents of my heart on the restaurant table. I’d explain that, although I’m a total romantic who would love to settle down, I only ever seem to have fleeting romances, and I’m never the one to end them. And just like that, the interrogations would start as to why I’m always the dumpee and never the dumper. The fact I was too honest made them question my dateability.
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